After looking at a brief history of the International Women’s Day(IWD), the next thing that I googled out was International Mens Day (didn’t even know if there was a day like that!) and surprisingly there is a International Men’s Day that falls on Nov 19 every year. International Mens Day (IMD) is an annual international day Inaugurated in 1999 in Trinidad and Tabago. The IMD is celebrated for a number of reasons like promoting positive male role models, celebrate men’s positive contributions to society, family, child care and environment, to focus on healthy wellbeing of men, provide gender equality, make world a safer place.What strikes me most is that the reason for the celebration of the two days is completely different - one reminds women of the fact that they have been fighting for their rights since 1911 and the other is a celebration by men of the rights that they always had. Women all over the world have been fighting for their basic rights since 1911 and continue to celebrate this day in the hope of getting them completely someday. But has the fight gotten over? have they attained what they intended to?
With these questions in my mind I closed the laptop and went over to my easel to complete my painting. Colors didn’t seem too friendly to me at that moment so I decided to leave the painting alone instead of spoiling it. The doorbell rang and I found my neighbor standing with a bowl in her hand. Told me that she had tried a new dish, some cabbage rice and wanted me to taste it. I took it and said thank you. My neighbor is excellent at cooking and she loves to make me the guinea pig which I very willingly accept because I am an excellent foodie. I tasted the cabbage rice, it was really nice. My neighbour is considered to be the best cook in the neighborhood and consequently the ideal or the perfect woman due to her culinary skills. My mind again started throwing questions at me as i savored the cabbage rice. Is my neighbor an ideal woman? To most men and surprisingly even to most women she would be- purely based on her culinary skills. She definitely is an ideal woman in my opinion, except that her ideality as a woman to me would not be just because she is good at cooking. She is also a good dancer, a genuine person, someone who you can rely on, a perfect mother of two daughters. There is so much more that goes into making her the ideal woman that she is, then why restrict her to mere cooking skills?
India is one place where women have mostly been judged based on their culinary skills no matter how well they fare in any other aspect of life. A working woman really good at her job would be asked some or the other time in her career by someone in a casual conversation "So what is your specialty in cooking? and when do I get invited to taste it?". A girl being scrutinized for marriage by the boy and his parents (also a dozen of other relatives) is sure to get this question "So what all can you cook? My son like brinjal sabzi a lot, can you make it?". Imagine the reverse happening: a woman asking her male colleague "So what all do you cook? and when am I invited to taste it?". The girl asking the boy or his mom about the cooking skills "I like palak paneer and that too non spicy and not too oily.. hope you an make it that way". Why are women expected to be excellent cooks? Not just are they expected to be excellent cooks but they are also expected to have an inherent interest in cooking.
The saddest part of it all is that this judgment of a woman purely on her culinary skills is not just restricted to men, women too judge other women based on their knowledge of spices. Why has there been a single track criteria of judging a woman as opposed to men who are judged by their achievements in any field of work they are good at. Men are never judged by their cooking skills, that is the last thing expected from a man. Having finished the rice I again turned to my painting trying to gauge my colors friendly intentions. At that moment I had a thought: I am an artist, I can make beautiful paintings, bring alive pictures through my colors every day, I am a writer, I can put my thoughts in a well-organized form on paper which is interesting for people to read everyday, I am a mother, I can love my son unconditionally and take care of him every day, I am a wife, I can be there for my hubby when he needs me, my parents and in laws say i am a lovely daughter, i am a good dancer.I also cook but that comes at the end of my list describing who I am. I am a woman - more than just a woman with culinary skills. Appreciate me for who I am and not what I cook!
This is probably the smallest, most minuscule of the problems which according to me women even today have to fight for but putting it forth is an attempt on my part to change people’s outlook towards a woman. Let’s free the woman from this age old way of judging her. There is so much more to a woman than just her culinary skills. this Women's day, let’s appreciate and admire the woman in entirety than just a part of her..Wish "Happy Womens Day" to every woman who believes in what she is with a hope that the society accepts her beyond her culinary skills: a woman of substance.
I know its a long article ...but i think we women are worth the long read...today and always:)
